


fever dream

by lyrically_lost



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Android Bitty, Angst with a Happy Ending, Gen, M/M, Science Fiction, Ship Captain Jack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:41:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24663274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lyrically_lost/pseuds/lyrically_lost
Summary: When Captain Jack Zimmermann woke up from cryosleep, he expected his crew to be there with him as they prepared for landing on the planet Plymouth. He didn’t expect to wake up to his ship, theSamwell, completely devoid of life. He didn’t expect to deal with an emergency that wrecked part of the ship. And he certainly didn’t expect the ship’s android, who bears a striking resemblance to the boyfriend he left behind.
Relationships: Eric "Bitty" Bittle & Jack Zimmermann
Comments: 13
Kudos: 76
Collections: OMGCP Reverse Bang 2020





	fever dream

**Author's Note:**

> This was written as part of the OMGCP Reverse Bang. Huge shoutout to M (happyzimm on tumblr), who made the [amazing art](https://happyzimm.tumblr.com/post/620638148764073984/my-piece-for-omgcpreversebang-2020-i-had-a-great) that kicked off this story, as well as an incredible cover. Go check them out, they’re awesome!
> 
> Also, thanks to my beta McBangle for giving great feedback, and to alexeiiimashkov and jckzimmermanns for organizing the Reverse Bang!
> 
> Title from “Fever Dream” by Grayscale (which you can find in this story’s [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/64Wtra8o18Baq5uaOD7Sl1?si=nIeh02zmRCmdohPVkwf1zQ))

Cryosleep isn’t like normal sleep. You don’t feel the passage of time. You don’t dream. You lay down in the pod and fall into darkness on one end, then you arise from darkness on the other, with nothing in between. 

Jack knew this. They had practiced, tested the technology before the launch. He had gotten used to the idea of losing time without realizing it. But when he heard a muffled hissing, saw light behind his eyelids, felt cold air on his skin, Jack thought he was dreaming. 

He tried to sit up, to figure out where he was and what was going on, but his body wouldn’t move. 

“Please don’t try to move yet, Captain Zimmermann,” a voice said. It sounded familiar, but Jack’s mind was still too hazy to remember from where. “Your body’s still waking up from cryosleep.”

So Jack was awake. _Faster than expected_ , he thought, and he would have laughed at himself if he was able to, because of course it was fast. But if he was awake, that meant they had reached Plymouth, and there was work to be done.

Jack blinked open his heavy eyes. The world was still a little blurry, his brain still getting readjusted to processing sensations again, but he could see the shiny metal ceiling, the retracted edges of his cryo pod, and a fuzzy face.

“Ah, good to see you awake, Captain Zimmermann,” the person leaning over him said. “Let’s get you up.” They extended a hand towards Jack and that was when their all-too-familiar face came into view.

Jack croaked, “Eric?”

There was a pause.

“Sorry, I don’t know anyone by that name,” the lookalike said. 

Jack sat up slowly, but his heart sunk fast. 

“Oh dear, I don’t believe we’ve met in person before, no wonder your confusion,” the lookalike said. “I am BITS-15, the Biointeractive Information and Technology System.” They smiled. “But you can call me Bitty. I am at your service, Captain.”

Jack remembered hearing about something like this in the mission briefings. “So you’re the android.” His voice came out sounding like sandpaper.

“Technically speaking, yes,” Bitty replied.

“Alright.” Jack managed to extract himself from the cryo pod and move to his feet. There was business to be done, so he pushed any hazy memories of a life that no longer existed far away. He stood as tall as he could muster, a bit of a challenge considering his body still felt like it was made of jelly. “What’s our status? How are the others handling waking up, any problems? I need a report on Plymouth, specifically the landing and settlement zone, and a catalog of our supplies. Start prepping for landing procedures.”

“Captain, I can do that to the best of my abilities if you still want, but I ought to tell you something,” Bitty said.

“What is it?”

“We’re not at Plymouth, and are still fairly far from arrival. The other crew members and settlers have not been woken up yet.” Jack knew what Bitty was going to say before they said it. “There was an emergency on board and you’ve been awakened accordingly.”

The word _emergency _sent Jack’s mind racing. He knew it was coming, but he still had that horrible sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. But he couldn’t focus on that right now. Jack took a deep breath and resumed his carefully composed “captain” persona. “What’s going on?” he asked.__

“There’s severe damage to Ring B,” Bitty reported. “There was an explosion in Sector B-8, originating from tertiary fuel cell number 5.”

“It needs manual repairs, doesn’t it.”

“Well…” Bitty trailed off. “Captain, it can’t be repaired. All automatic systems have tried, and my diagnostics are showing that it can’t even be fixed manually.” They paused. “I didn’t wake you up so you could fix it. I woke you up so you could decide what to do.”

Jack took a deep breath. He had to keep a cool head. That was his job. “Get me damage reports for the full ship and Ring B,” Jack ordered. “What are my options?”

“Let’s go to the bridge,” Bitty suggested. “You can assess ship status there.” 

Bitty began walking, and Jack followed. As he did, he realized his knees were shaking. He couldn’t tell if it was just a result of waking up from cryosleep or his nerves.

“Do you want anything to eat or drink?” Bitty asked after they had made it to the ship’s main thoroughfare in silence. “Water, or coffee? Or I could defrost a quick-frozen pie, I have way too many of those.”

“Water would be nice,” Jack replied. 

“I’ll get that for you right away,” Bitty said. “And your captain’s quarters are just up and to the right, if you want to get clothes or any of your personal materials.”

Bitty disappeared to fetch water, leaving Jack alone. As he made his way to the captain’s quarters, the ship suddenly felt incredibly expansive. It was silent except for the hum of the engines. It was incredibly empty, and unnerving. 

Jack pushed open the door to the captain’s quarters--his quarters, he reminded himself. It was nice enough, with wood paneling and a queen bed, but there was something stock and uncomfortable about it, like a hotel room. The only familiar things about it were Jack’s clothes hanging in the closet and the pictures and posters he chose adorning the walls. 

Jack looked at those pictures as he pulled on a uniform shirt and a pair of pants. There was a frame full of photos of trees and lakes and geese that Jack remembered taking himself. There was one picture of Jack and his parents. All three of them wore wide smiles, but those smiles seemed so far away to Jack now. 

He stared at another photo of himself looking happy as he sat on the bed and tied his shoes. It was him and Eric, posing with their arms around each other, their smiles easy and their eyes full of love. Jack remembered that picture. They threw a backyard party for their first anniversary, and Jack could recall how light he felt that night. He could use some of that lightness right now.

Jack headed back into the hallway, where Bitty was waiting with a bottle of water. “Here you go, Captain,” the android said.

Jack took the bottle and offered a muttered “Thanks.” He noticed it when he woke up, but Bitty did bear a striking resemblance to Eric. Same blonde hair, same brown eyes, same short stature. Now that he thought about it, Bitty’s touch of an accent even sounded vaguely Southern. Jack swallowed the feelings that rose with a swig of water. 

The large metal doors guarding the bridge slid open as Jack and Bitty approached. The screens were already lit up and holograms floated in the air, showing different views of the ship. Jack immediately headed to the main control panel, which had a full hologram view of the _Samwell_. Half of the second of the _Samwell_ ’s three rings was missing, and it looked like the remainder of the ring was severely damaged. Luckily, the other two rings and the ship’s main body appeared unharmed. 

“I take it you see what I meant?” Bitty said.

Jack nodded. “What are our options?”

“According to both my analysis and that of the main ship’s computer, you have two options. We can reseal the remainder of Ring B and largely keep things the way they are, but that will cost materials and likely need multiple repairs before we get to Plymouth, as well as hinder motion and slow our pace.”

Jack asked, “What’s the other option?”

“Disconnect the remainder of Ring B,” Bitty replied. “That will also hinder motion and slow pace, but it will require few additional resources and repairs.”

“When you say ‘hinder motion and slow pace,’ what do you mean?”

“Without any additional delays, it will take 2.47 years more than predicted to arrive at Plymouth.”

“Is that for removing or fixing Ring B?”

“Removing. If the remainder of Ring B is sealed, it will take 2.63 years more than predicted to arrive at Plymouth.”

Jack took a deep breath. “So the logical decision is to remove it.”

“Yes.”

“Then that’s what we’ll do,” Jack declared. “Is there anything salvageable left on Ring B?”

“Yes,” Bitty said. “The tertiary fuel cells were spent in the explosion, but there are some surplus materials remaining in what’s left of Ring B, though not a lot.”

“Is the lack of fuel going to be a problem?”

“No, it shouldn’t be,” Bitty replied. “Landing could get tricky if the extra travel time expends more fuel than anticipated, but by my calculations, we should have just enough to make it work.”

“Alright. We’ll need to retrieve those supplies, though.”

“Understood, Captain.”

“Jack,” he blurted before he could catch himself.

“Pardon?” Bitty responded.

“Just… call me Jack.”

The corners of Bitty’s mouth curled upwards into a slight smile. “Alright. Jack, then.”

Jack stood up from the seat he had taken at the control panel. “Now, the matter of removing Ring B. What’s the best course of action?”

“I’ll have to check exactly what to do, but there is a way to manually override certain protocol sequences in order to prematurely eject Ring B,” Bitty said. 

“Because the rings need to be ejected before landing, so there’s the system already there to eject Ring B,” Jack mused. “That’s actually quite intuitive.”

Bitty smiled, though there was something just a little too unnatural about it. “Why thank you.”

“How much time do we have to remove Ring B?” Jack asked. 

“We have 1.52 Earth days before the _Samwell_ needs to continue moving to avoid an impending asteroid storm,” Bitty said. “But that means there’s enough time to salvage the materials from Ring B, eject the ring, and for you to get some food and rest.”

“How long would a successful salvage operation take?

“Captain- sorry, Jack. It is of my opinion, and my analysis, that you need food and sleep.”

Jack’s head spun. Bitty sounded so much like Eric for a moment. 

“Jack?”

He blinked back to reality. “Yes?”

“Now you’re just proving my point,” Bitty said. “Food, then rest. You’ve had a stressful past half-hour and you are just out of cryosleep.”

“I’m fine,” Jack replied brusquely. 

Bitty gave him a disapproving look. “Captain Zimmermann, you can’t function correctly if you’re hungry and tired. And you can’t fool me, I’ve got biometric scanners.” The android’s use of his title and last name reminded Jack of a parent using their child’s full name before a scolding. 

“If you insist.”

“There you go,” Bitty said. “Come on, there’s chicken tenders heating up in the mess. And there’s a quick-frozen slice of apple pie with your name on it, too. I know it’s your favorite.”

There was a roar in Jack’s ears and for a half-second, he was back home. Then he blinked and it was back to the bridge, not his kitchen, with Bitty by his side, not Eric. He hadn’t moved at all, but he felt like he had whiplash.

Bitty looked at him, worried. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah. I’m fine.”

“Alright, but it’s food, then sleep for you. Let’s head to the mess.”

Jack reluctantly followed, stifling a chuckle at the android’s mother hen imitation.

They walked to the mess hall in silence, the only sound being the ship’s gentle but ever-present hum and their footfalls echoing softly down the hallway. The mess hall was silent too, sterilely empty save for a plate of chicken tenders sitting on the table closest to the entrance. It was eerie; the space should be filled with people, their casual conversation occasionally interrupted by raucous laughter. 

Jack sat down at the table where the plate of chicken tenders rested. Bitty took the seat across from him. Jack glanced between the food in front of him and the android across from him, feeling awkward. 

“Oh my god, I’m staring, aren’t I,” Bitty said. “I am so sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel awkward. I can leave if you want.”

“No, it’s okay,” Jack responded.

Bitty stood up. “I should go defrost that pie for you anyway. Sorry!”

They left, but Jack found the quiet, the emptiness to be even more uneasy with Bitty gone. He started eating, just to give his body something else to do other than being tense. 

Bitty came back a few minutes later with a steaming slice of pie. “So I know quick-freezing tends to dampen the taste, but hopefully this tastes just a little like home.” They placed it delicately next to Jack. 

Jack glanced between the pie and the android, then picked up the fork sitting next to the slice and took a small bite. The familiar sweetness hit his taste buds and Jack was rocketed back into a memory. Candles on the table, the smell of a home-cooked meal in the air, Eric smiling but with a touch of sadness in his eyes. He blinked back to reality and looked between the pie and Bitty once more. “I think you were right. I should get some sleep,” Jack said, standing up. His voice was shaky.

“Was the pie that bad?” Bitty asked teasingly. Then they recognized Jack’s expression and their face turned serious and concerned. “Is something wrong?”

Jack waved them off. “It’s nothing,” he said curtly. “I’m going to my room. Wake me up in six hours, then we’ll salvage materials from Ring B and engage the ring ejection procedures after that.”

Bitty replied, “Affirmative, Captain,” but Jack was already too far away to hear the sadness in their voice.

* * *

The kitchen, with its wood cabinets and granite countertops and pictures with smiling faces on the walls and a perennial smell of sweetness, is usually a place of warmth and comfort. But as Eric washes dishes and Jack cleans up their dinner, thick, heavy tension settles over the kitchen.

Jack leans on the counter next to Eric. “Come with me,” he insists. “I can’t do it without you.”

“Sweetpea,” Eric says, his voice weighed down. “You know I can’t.”

“We can find, we can make a spot for you.”

“I’m just a baker. I’m no scientist or astronaut or anything the operation needs.”

“That doesn’t matter.” Quieter, Jack pleads, “You’re what I need.”

“Oh, honey.” Eric puts down the saucepan he was scrubbing, and Jack notices there are tears welling up at the corners of his eyes. “Jack, I love you so much, and it’s breaking my heart to have to tell you this…” The tears spill over and Eric’s voice catches in his throat. “But I can’t come with you. You’re gonna go save the human race. But someone has to stay and save what’s left of humanity.” He laughs, wet and snotty. “Well, I’m making myself sound awfully high and mighty there, but I’m a baker. I offer people comfort.” He sniffles. “And if I can’t offer people comfort now, what else can I do?” 

Eric’s big, warm brown eyes are filled with sadness and fear, and Jack can’t bear it. He wraps his arms around Eric and pulls him in close. 

“Eric,” Jack says, trying to find strength. His voice wavers all the same. “I love you more than anything else in the world. You bring me comfort, and so much more.” 

Eric presses his face into Jack’s shoulder, his tears soaking two spots into Jack’s shirt. He sniffles, and Jack feels his own eyes start to well up. 

“As much as it’s gonna hurt, this is the way it is,” Eric says. He sniffles again. “You’re gonna be great, sweetpea. Even without me. Just… just don’t forget me.”

Jack is crying now, too. “Never,” he declares. “I’ll never forget you.”

Eric looks up at Jack. “I sure hope you’re right,” he says. “I’m already gone.”

* * *

Jack woke up with his face stiff and his heart aching. When he sat up and rubbed at his eyes, his hands came away wet. He exhaled, then slid out of bed and got dressed. There was work to be done, and no time to remember old heartaches.

When Jack opened the door into the hallway from his quarters, it was near-silent once again, but instead of being uneasy, the quiet was comforting. He listened to his footfalls echo through the hallway as he walked to the bridge and began to formulate a plan for how to salvage the materials from Ring B. 

When Jack approached the bridge, the doors slid open and he heard a startled “Oh!” Bitty was sitting in one of the chairs in front of a control panel, a thin blue wire connected to their temple. “Jack, hi,” they said. “I thought you said you wanted to be woken after six hours. Were you having trouble sleeping?”

“It’s fine,” Jack replied curtly. “I, uh, had a bad dream and woke up early.”

“I’m sorry, bad dreams are never good.” Bitty laughed awkwardly. “Not that I’d know, androids don’t dream. But I do believe a late twentieth century science fiction author questioned whether androids dream of electric sheep.”

Now the silence was uncomfortable. Jack cleared his throat, if only to add some sound. “Well, we should get working on the process of removing Ring B. You said that there are still salvageable surplus materials on the remaining part of the ring, so what would be the best way to retrieve those?”

“According to my analysis, the best manner of retrieving the surplus materials on Ring B would be a manned salvage operation with entry through hatch B-7,” Bitty responded. “The operation will require use of an EVA suit due to the exposure of Ring B to the vacuum of space and the loss of artificial gravity, but the structure has enough integrity to support the weight.”

Jack tensed as soon as he heard _EVA_. “Are there any, um, unmanned options for salvage?” he said. “Could one of the repair arms get the materials or something?”

“I guess they could, but there would still need to be manual retrieval. A manual EVA salvage operation is the safest and most efficient way.”

“Even with only two of us?” Jack asked.

“Even with only two of us,” Bitty responded. “You’re an accomplished astronaut, Jack. Your ISF file shows that you’ve handled several difficult situations on your own. And you won’t be alone because I’ll be in communication with you the whole time.”

Jack swallowed. “You’ve seen my ISF file.”

“I have access to the files of all crew members,” Bitty said. “Yours is certainly the most exciting, though. I mean, those missions on the _Providence_ are like something out of a movie. I can certainly see why you’re captain, though. You’re incredible.”

Those last two words echoed in Jack’s head. You’re incredible. They sounded like they came from a different time. 

Jack took a deep breath. “Okay,” he said. “Let’s prepare for that EVA.”

Bitty smiled mechanically but comfortingly. “Alright then! I’ll meet you by hatch B-7, I’ve gotta grab one of the emergency EVA suits, then I can help you get set.”

Jack nodded and Bitty disappeared, leaving Jack alone once more. The quiet of the ship was uneasy again, offering no sound to break up Jack’s quickly encroaching thoughts. He began pacing his way towards hatch B-7 while trying to ignore memories of crushing pressure and gasping for air. 

Bitty showed up a few moments after Jack got to the hatch, carrying a box containing an emergency EVA suit. The android dropped it in front of Jack. “I swear, there is no good way to carry a large box,” they said. Then they laughed and added, “Well, I probably shouldn’t be saying that, since you’ve got a few boxes to haul yourself.”

Jack offered no response, instead opening the box and pulling out the first layer of the EVA suit. He swallowed hard, then began to pull on the suit. Bitty was assembling some of the more complicated systems as Jack carefully secured each part of the suit. He focused on his breathing, taking slow, deep breaths, in through his nose and out through his mouth.

“Oh, perfect, you’re already set,” Bitty said. “Let me just attach the environmental control apparatus, then add the helmet and you’re all good to go.”

The weight of the environmental control apparatus settled on Jack’s shoulders and he heard various connections clicking together. 

“And helmet,” Bitty said, holding it in their hands. “If you get it on, I’ll seal it.”

They passed the helmet to Jack and he pulled it over his head. His breathing echoed loudly and unnervingly, and it started to get faster. His chest felt tight and suddenly, Jack was stuck in the vacuum of space, warning lights flashing in his face and his panicked crewmates shouting in his ears as he struggled for breath. 

Then the helmet locking him into his own head was gone. “Jack, look at me,” he heard Bitty say, though their voice sounded far away. He turned to look at the android, their image flickering between Bitty and Eric and that medic from the _Providence_ , he was blonde too.

“Jack, try to take deep breaths,” Bitty said. “With me, okay? In through your nose for one, two, three, four, out through your mouth for one, two, three, four.”

Jack tried, but he still felt like his head, heart, and lungs were getting away from him. 

“Again. In for one, two, three, four, out for one, two, three, four.” Bitty repeated it two more times, and by the second, Jack had managed to slow down his breathing a little. “That’s good,” Bitty encouraged, their voice soothing. “Keep taking those nice deep breaths.” Each breath felt just a little easier. 

“You’re doing great, Jack,” Bitty said. “Where are you?”

The _Providence_. “The _Samwell_.”

“Good. Now, what are three things you can see?”

“The wall. The box. You.”

“Great. What are three things you can hear?”

“The engine humming. Your voice. And, um, some kind of hissing.” Jack added, “Is that from the suit?”

Bitty adjusted something on the environmental control apparatus and the hissing stopped. “All good now,” they said. “How about you? Are you feeling better?”

Jack was still aware of each breath, but they felt easier and more measured. “Yeah.”

“You don’t have to do this, you know,” Bitty said. “The supplies you’d be retrieving aren’t essential. Plus, it’s protocol to allow no operations that will bring harm, physical or mental, to any crew members.”

“No, I can do this,” Jack said firmly. “I just had to… get it out of my system.”

“Are you sure? Again, you don’t have to.”

“I’m sure. I can do this.” Jack picked up the helmet and held it in his hands for a moment.

“Okay,” Bitty said cautiously. “I’ll be with you the whole time, I can help you with whatever you need. And if you need to stop, that’s okay, and I’ll get you out of there.”

Jack nodded, then pulled the helmet on. His breathing still echoed, but he wasn’t going to let it psych him out. Instead, he let it fall into a regular, comforting rhythm. _In for one, two, three, four. Out for one, two, three, four._

“Jack, can you hear me?” Bitty’s voice was thin, distorted by the speakers. 

“Loud and clear,” he replied. 

“Are you still okay?”

“Yeah. Let’s get this over with.”

“Alright then.”

With his motions made clunky by the suit, Jack made his way to the hatch, which opened with a hiss. He stepped through it and it closed behind him as the door in front of him opened. As he went through it, Bitty said, “The artificial gravity might start to get a little wonky towards the end of the connector. The grav for Ring B was destroyed in the explosion.”

“Got it,” Jack replied. Then he began lumbering down the tunnel connecting the main body of the ship to Ring B. Sure enough, Jack began having less of a grip on the floor as the door at the end of the connector came into view, just like Bitty said. He engaged the suit’s magnetic stabilizers as the door in front of him opened. Jack had to manually force open the second door into Ring B, and the artificial gravity was completely gone once he crossed the threshold. He swallowed his rising unease--score one for the weird qualities of the human body--and continued moving forward.

“I’m in Ring B,” Jack said. “Grav is completely gone.”

“Affirmative,” Bitty replied. “The supply crates should be to your right.”

Jack looked to his right and sure enough, there were the supply crates, hanging loosely in their securements. “I see them.”

“Good. If you can get them to the first hatch I can take care of it from there,” Bitty said. “How are you doing? All systems are normal. Vital signs too, though your pulse rate is elevated.”

“I’m fine.” He added, “How many supply crates are there supposed to be? I see four.”

Jack could almost hear the frown in Bitty’s tone. Eric does--did--the same thing. “There should be six.”

Jack propelled himself through the hall, but still found only the four crates. “I can only find four,” he said. “Maybe the other two floated away?”

Bitty chuckled. “It’s not out of the question. The ring is open to space and there’s no grav, so it could have happened. Regardless, just focus on getting those four.”

“Alright.” Jack undid the straps holding the nearest crate in place, then carefully pushed it into the hatch at the end of the connector. He did the same for the other three crates and once they were all safely in the hatch, he closed the door that led into Ring B and opened the one that led into the connector. “Got the crates,” he reported. “Heading back now.”

It was easy to push the crates in limited grav, but once it started coming back, it got harder to move four large supply crates at the same time, so Jack decided he’d bring them to the other hatch one at a time. He pushed one crate all the way to the hatch and through the first door. “First crate’s inside the hatch,” he reported. “I’m going to get the next one, doing this one at a time.”

“Affirmative,” Bitty said. “I’ll take care of it. I’m still here though, don’t worry.”

“Alright.” Jack went back to where he left the crates and pushed the second, then the third to the hatch. When he pushed the fourth to the hatch, he waited with it until the door in front of him opened. 

Bitty met him with a smile. “Great job, Jack.” 

The android took the crate while Jack closed the hatch behind him and immediately took off his helmet. He took a deep, unobstructed breath. “Thanks.”

Bitty took Jack’s helmet out of his hands, then began disconnecting tubes and cables. “Another successful mission for Captain Jack.”

“Isn’t that the pirate from the movies?” His own joking was a pleasant surprise.

Bitty let out a short laugh. “You’re right. And you are far from a pirate.”

Jack shrugged. “Though I suppose you could argue we just looted our own supplies.”

“That you could.”

The little bit of jest helped calm Jack’s residual nerves. It felt good to smile, and the corners of his mouth continued to quirk upward as he pulled off the last pieces of the EVA suit. 

He turned toward Bitty. “So now that we have the supplies, how are we going to go about removing Ring B?” he asked. “You said something about engaging a landing protocol early.”

“Exactly,” Bitty said. “I already have the commands cued up to engage the landing protocol that would eject the rings. It just needs captain’s confirmation to go, so whenever you’re ready, we should head to the bridge. The whole process will take about 15 minutes.”

“Okay, bridge it is.”

Bitty and Jack’s walk back to the bridge was pleasantly not-silent. Bitty chattered the whole way and Jack felt less uncomfortable, less alone.

“Isn’t this the kind of thing that usually deserves celebration? Or at least a toast or something?” they said. “Like, successful mission, you have a drink, that sounds like it makes sense.”

“It does, especially when you have Russians on the crew. We had a Russian guy on my first stint on the _Providence_.” Jack smiled slightly at the memory. “It was something, to say the least.”

“Well, I can’t drink, but I’d do a toast with you if you want.”

“I appreciate the sentiment, but I think I’ll pass.”

“Fair enough.” 

When they reached the bridge, Bitty directed Jack to a control panel, where a screen reading “ENGAGE COMMAND?” blinked back at him. Jack entered in his confirmation code and the screen changed to read “COMMAND ENGAGED.” A whirring sound became audible.

Bitty remarked, “And now we wait.”

There was a moment of quiet before Jack said, “Thanks. For talking me out of my… thing, earlier.”

“Of course. You’re welcome,” the android replied. “Are you doing okay now?”

Jack nodded. “Yeah. I’m fine now.” He added, “That was my first time putting on an EVA suit in a while. Last time was on the _Providence_. And well, you saw my file, you know what happened then.”

“I know there was an incident, and that it’s why you left the _Providence_ ,” Bitty said. “I don’t know what happened, though.”

“My EVA suit malfunctioned. The pressure regulation was messed up. It felt like I was being crushed, like I couldn’t breathe. I made it out okay, and I was lucky that I wasn’t injured too badly, but I’ve been a little… shaken ever since.”

“That sounds terrible. I can’t imagine how scary that must’ve been for you.”

“It was,” Jack admitted. “But we had a good crew on the Providence. They took care of me.” Wistfully, he added, “They were definitely the best crew I ever had, and some of the best people I knew in general. Besides Eric, of course.”

Their conversation was interrupted by a series of clanks and hisses.

“Sounds like it’s working,” Jack remarked.

“Everything is going perfectly so far,” Bitty said.

“Great.”

“I have a question for you, if you feel like answering,” the android said.

“Sure. Go ahead.”

“Who’s Eric?” Bitty asked. “You called for him when you woke up from cryosleep.”

Jack sighed. “Eric is--or was, I guess--my boyfriend. He stayed back on Earth.”

“Oh.”

“It’s kind of funny you ask about him, actually, since you look a lot like him,” Jack said.

“Really?”

Jack nodded. “Yeah.”

“Is that… weird for you?” Bitty asked.

Jack shrugged. “Sometimes.” When he noticed that the android’s face fell, he added, “But only a little. It’s good to have… someone else around.”

“I agree. Even for an android, being on a ship all by yourself is pretty lonely.”

“I… hadn’t thought about that,” Jack admitted. “What do you do when we’re all in cryosleep?”

“A lot of it is just keeping the ship running and dealing with routine maintenance and things,” Bitty replied. “But in between that, I try things. I taught myself how to bake, which is why I have so many quick-frozen pies. I read books and watch TV shows and movies and listen to music. I started with what the crew liked, so I could get to know you all a little better, but I realized I have my own tastes too.”

“What do you like, then?”

“I like old science fiction because I think it’s interesting what the people of the past thought the future would be like. I’ve tried to stay away from the ones about androids and robots, though,” they said. “I love reading memoirs because some people have such interesting lives. And speaking of interesting lives, reality TV is so entertaining! It’s so ridiculous, but I can’t stop watching. And there’s so much good music out there, for so many different times! I love jazz, because you can’t predict it. But sometimes predictability is a good thing, because some pop music is so good. Like, this one singer, Beyonce, is incredible.” Bitty smiled. “But in short, I like everything, really.”  
The control panel beeped and flashed. “COMMAND COMPLETED.” Jack glanced toward the nearest hologram of the Samwell and sure enough, Ring B was gone.

“Another success,” Bitty said.

“Yeah. Crisis averted.” Jack stood up. “Which means it’s time for me to go back into cryosleep.” Bitty had no reply. Confused, Jack asked, “Is something wrong?”

“Cap- Jack,” Bitty said. “You can’t go back to cryosleep.”

He blinked. “What do you mean?”

“Cryosleep pods are single-use, and there are no other available cryosleep pods on this ship.” Bitty repeated, “You can’t go back to cryosleep.”

It was a realization that dawned sharply on Jack. If he couldn’t go back into cryosleep, that meant he was stuck on the ship, and he would be for probably the rest of his life. He unconsciously brought his hand to his face. “Oh- oh god,” he breathed. 

Bitty began, “Jack…” but he pushed past the android and stormed into the hallway. By the time he slammed the door to his quarters shut, Jack’s heart was racing and his chest felt tight once more.

* * *

There’s a summer breeze blowing through the windows and ruffling the curtains. The sweet smell of baking wafts through the air- there’s definitely a pie sitting in the oven. The TV is on and its sound is garbled, but Jack can identify the distinctive thwack of a hockey game anytime. There’s a comfortable weight settled onto Jack’s side.

“Honey, stop squirming,” Eric says. “I was just getting comfortable.”

Jack blinks. This could be just another memory, but something about it feels different. “Sorry,” he tells Eric. “I just… zoned out for a second.”

Eric’s eyes are warm and wide, and they’re close enough that Jack can see the flecks of gold among the light brown. “Something on your mind?”

Jack sighs. “I’m scared,” he admits. 

“Of what?”

“Of being alone.” Saying it aloud makes it hurt both more and less.

“Oh, honey.” Eric sits up and draws Jack closer. “You’ll never be truly alone. Not when you’ve always got people who love you.”

His voice breaks. “But what if they’re all gone?”

“We’re never gone for good,” Eric reassures. “If we were, what would the two of us be doing right now?” He adds, “Besides, you’ve got a friend in the real world too.”

“How is that possible? I’m alone on an empty ship until I die.”

“And I thought you had learned to listen to me,” Eric teases. “You’re never alone. Beyond just memories, you’ve got that android that looks like me. You’ve got a friend.”

“But… Bitty isn’t a friend. They’re just an android.”

“Of course they’re your friend,” Eric says. “They made an effort to know you, to help you. And you made an effort to know them, too. Isn’t that what friends do?”

“But…” Jack trails off.

“You’re worried about replacing me, aren’t you.”

“Maybe. Yeah.” Jack sighs. “You told me not to forget you. I promised I wouldn’t. And I would never break that promise.”

“And you won’t,” Eric says. “You forget, I know you better than you know yourself, sometimes. You would never break that promise, so you won’t. But that doesn’t mean you have to let yourself be hung up on me for the rest of your life. There are ways to remember me even after moving on.”

“But what if I don’t know how to?”

Eric smiles warmly. “Then you’ve got the rest of your life to figure it out.”

Jack is suddenly reminded of how bleak the rest of his life looks. 

“Sorry, poor choice of words,” Eric admits. “But really, Jack. It’s okay to move on. And just because you’ve made friends with an android who looks like me doesn’t mean you’ve replaced me.” Eric grabs Jack’s hand. “You’re allowed to live your life. So find happiness where you can, and make the most of it. Promise me that.”

Jack looks into Eric’s eyes, taking in the sight of the person he loves so much. “I promise.”

* * *

When Jack woke up, eight hours had passed. As he sat up, Eric’s words echoing in his head, he realized that he felt at ease, not sad. Something was still pulling at him though, and he knew exactly what he had to do to fix it.

The humming of the ship had become such a familiar sound that Jack almost didn’t notice it as he stepped into the hallway. The steady buzzing and the sound of his echoing steps were just the _Samwell_ ’s usual soundtrack.

Bitty was sitting in a chair on the bridge, the wire connected to their temple again. Jack noticed that their eyes were closed, and they didn’t react to the doors to the bridge opening, or to Jack’s presence.

“Bitty?” Jack said. The android didn’t respond. “They must be powered down,” Jack muttered. He tapped Bitty’s shoulder, and suddenly, the android jerkily came to life and pushed Jack backward.

Bitty clutched a hand to their chest. “Oh my god, Jack, you scared me!” they exclaimed. 

“Sorry,” Jack mumbled. 

“It’s okay, just try to wake me less rudely next time. Even androids need their beauty sleep.” Bitty cracked a slight smile.

“Yeah, sorry.”

“It’s fine. I should be the one apologizing to you actually,” they said, the smile falling. “I shouldn’t have dropped that bomb about not being able to go back to cryosleep on you yesterday. You were stressed enough, and I only added to it, and for that, I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry too,” Jack said. “You didn’t do anything wrong, you were just doing your job.” He added, “You’ve been really good to me, but I haven’t been a good person back, and I’m sorry.”

“I appreciate that, really. But you haven’t done anything wrong either.”

“But I still want to make up for it.” He took a deep breath and added, “We’ve got… a lot of time on our hands, now. So I want to get to know you. It’ll be nice to have… a friend.”

Bitty smiled, and Jack noticed how it was just slightly lopsided. “I could use a friend, too,” they said, and Jack felt himself smile too.

“Um, what do you say we talk over breakfast?” he suggested.

“I’d love to.”

Their walk to the mess was quiet, but it was a comfortable quiet. Jack thought about how the humming engines sounded a little bit like wind rustling through trees, or maybe a rushing waterfall.

When they got to the mess, Jack asked, “So what kind of breakfast options are there? Please tell me there’s something other than powdered eggs and dried fruit. I’ve had enough of those to last a lifetime.”

Bitty chuckled. “We do have a pretty good kitchen on the Samwell,” they said. “We have a lot of things quick-frozen if you want something easy, but we also have ingredients if you want to make something. Do you have a preference?”

“Making something sounds good.”

“Then I have the perfect idea.”

“What?”

“I think we can make crepes,” Bitty said with a smile. “I’ve never tried before, but I know there’s a recipe for them, so we can give it a shot.”

“Let’s do it.”

They headed to the kitchen, then found themselves with busy hands. Bitty was focused on making the batter while Jack occupied himself by defrosting and slicing fruit. 

“I was raised in Montreal, you know,” Jack said as he put some sliced strawberries in a small bowl. “My grandmother taught me how to make crepes.”

“Well, then I’m leaving the pouring and flipping to you,” Bitty replied. 

Jack chuckled. “Fair enough.”

The kitchen was filled with the sounds of a knife hitting the cutting board and the whirring of an electric mixer once more. Everything was a little more hollow and tinny than it was back home, but the sounds of a working kitchen were familiar to Jack. His past and his present, his two realities, were comfortably coexisting. 

When the fruit was sliced and the batter was ready, Bitty handed off to Jack. There was a griddle set up on the stove, so he turned on the heat and greased the griddle before pouring some of the batter and rotating the griddle to spread the batter more thinly. 

As the crepe cooked, Bitty said, “I told you all about what I like, so what about you?”

“I thought you already knew,” Jack replied, before carefully turning over the crepe, which was now golden-brown on top.

“I still want to hear what you have to say.”

“Alright,” Jack said. “Um, I like history documentaries. Especially World War II ones. I minored in history in college, and it’s always been an interest of mine.” He carefully slid the finished crepe off the griddle and on to a plate.

As he poured and spread the batter for the next crepe, Bitty commented, “That’s interesting. I didn’t think most astronauts were humanities people.”

“We’re not, generally. We’re a whole bunch of engineers and physicists and maybe a few mathematicians, and I’m no exception.”

“Besides war documentaries, what else do you like to watch?”

“Not much, admittedly. I don’t watch a whole lot of movies, and I’ve never watched a lot of TV. Well, aside from hockey. And Eric’s baking shows.”

Bitty let out a slight chuckle. “Hockey, eh?” they teased. “How Canadian are you?”

Jack shook his head. “I’m getting chirped already,” he said as he flipped the crepe.

“Chirped?” Bitty questioned.

“It’s a hockey term. It’s like, teasing, or making fun of someone.”

“Sounds useful.”

Jack shrugged. “It’s a good descriptor.”

“Do you have a favorite hockey team?” Bitty asked.

“The Canadiens or the Penguins, since those were the teams my father played for,” Jack replied. “But I grew to like the Providence Falconers, since they were the most local.” As he slid the second crepe off the griddle, “I always found it a little ironic that Eric and I settled in a city called Providence, and then I was on a ship with the same name.”

“Ironic indeed.”

“Should I make more crepes?” Jack asked. “We still have plenty of batter, but I’ll probably only eat two, and the batter doesn’t really keep well.”

“As much as I would love to try one, I can’t eat, so there’s no need to make more,” Bitty said. “Besides, I don’t think waste is a big concern.”

“Fair enough.” Jack filled each of the two crepes with sliced fruit, then carefully folded the crepes to wrap the fruit. 

“Those look really good,” Bitty said. 

“Yeah,” Jack agreed. “We did a good job.”

They moved into the mess to eat. As they sat down, music echoed through the room, smooth horns and piano filling the empty space.

“I thought some background music would help,” Bitty said. “It’s jazz, just because I like to have it on in the background while I do things, but I can change it if you want.”

“No, it’s okay,” Jack replied. “I like it.”

As Jack picked at his crepes, Bitty said, “So I know that you like war documentaries and hockey. What about music?”

“I like classic rock.” He added, “Though I’ve been chirped about it on every crew I’ve ever been on,” with a nod toward the previous part of the conversation. 

“I don’t think this crew is any exception,” Bitty replied. “Classic rock is TV dad music.”

“So you’re saying I’m a TV dad.”

“That is what I’m implying, yes,” they deadpanned.

“Old rock gets better with age,” Jack protested. “I’ll just have to show you.”

“I’d like to see you try,” Bitty said, a mischievous smirk crossing their face.

Jack grinned in response. “Challenge accepted.”

Their conversation fell quiet, but it was peaceful, the air around them light, filled with easy jubilance and jazz.

“This was nice,” Jack said as he finished his crepes.

Bitty smiled. “Yeah, it was.”

* * *

After that first day, they started to fall into a routine. Jack would wake up, often after a dream or memory, but those tended to be happy or peaceful. He would wake Bitty, though the android was usually already up and running, and they would have breakfast together. Sometimes they would make it themselves, but if Jack was feeling particularly tired, they would defrost a bagel and make coffee, or get cereal and milk. 

After breakfast, they would check in on the ship. Most of the time, all systems were running normal, but if there was something that needed to be fixed or tweaked, Jack and Bitty would engage a maintenance protocol. Sometimes they would fix it themselves, like when power was bizarrely diverted from the mess once. Well, Bitty would fix it and Jack would “supervise,” because the android was quite particular and would swat Jack away if he tried to help.

Once everything was confirmed to be running correctly, the captain and the android would take some time to share the things they enjoyed with each other. They traded off days and activities- one day, Bitty would make Jack sit through several episodes of watching and making fun of the Real Housewives, and the next day, Jack would explain all the little tidbits that went unexplained as they watched a documentary. They found themselves cooking a lot, since Bitty loved experimenting and was happy to have a guinea pig and Jack liked cooking because it reminded him of Eric and of home. They liked to play games, too. It turned out that Bitty was incredibly competitive, so any game turned into a battle. 

“There is no way that’s a legal move,” Bitty complained during one game of chess. “You’re cheating.”

“It’s perfectly legal,” Jack replied. “Checkmate, by the way.”

“No, that is not checkmate! You wouldn’t have gotten that without an illegal move!”

“Do you want to play again?” Jack asked, smirking.

“Yes, and I’m going to win this time!” Bitty asserted.

Jack beat them in five moves. For an android, Bitty was surprisingly bad at chess.

Bitty groaned. “I hate you, you know.”

“I know.” Jack still managed to goad them into a third game, and Bitty lost once more.  
One day, Bitty managed to rig up a virtual reality simulation so Jack could teach Bitty how to play hockey. It wasn’t quite like the real thing, but it was close enough that it was fun and entertaining. Bitty picked it up quickly, and soon they were playing elaborate VR games where they picked simulations of real hockey players as their teammates. Jack, old soul that he is, always tended to pick past legends, while Bitty had an eye for finding young stars. 

Through it all, Jack realized he was truly, honestly happy. He hadn’t expected that he would find happiness confined to a ship for the rest of his life, accompanied only by an oddly familiar android, but he wasn’t disappointed that he had. Jack had promised Eric he would find happiness where he could and make the most of it, and he lived up to that promise.  
He still thought about Eric, sometimes. Certain things, like a recipe he and Bitty made, or a line from a TV show they watched, or sometimes just the way Bitty smiled, would remind Jack of Eric, but instead of sparking a pang of heartbreak or a rising tightness in his chest, the memories just made Jack smile. He figured out how to move on, just like Eric said he would.

It helped that he came to realize that although Bitty and Eric looked remarkably similar, they were far from the same person. Once Jack got to know the android, he found that they could be quite coarse at times. They were snarky and quick to tease--well, chirp, that word did turn out to be quite useful--but they also enjoyed simple things. They loved music without words, and playing jazz or classical became a habit during meals. They appreciated the ever-present hum of the engines, and how it had the ability to be both noise and silence at the same time. They loved artistry, too, always paying attention to the cinematography of movies or reading passages filled with vivid language from a book. But more than anything, they loved to have something that made them laugh, and Jack could appreciate that too. 

He and Bitty balanced each other out. They made a good pair.

It became hard to keep track of time, after a while, the days both too short and endless, marked only by when they woke up and when they went to sleep.

It was on one undefined day, during a defrosted bagel and coffee breakfast, when Bitty interrupted the lack of conversation and easy morning piano and said, “Jack, I have something to tell you.”

“What?” he asked, taking a sip from his mug of coffee.

“I found a… solution, of sorts.”

“A solution?” Jack questioned.

“You mentioned a few days ago how you would be long gone by the time the crew awoke and we got to Plymouth,” Bitty began. “And how you were saddened by the fact that you wouldn’t get to help and guide the crew as captain like you had hoped. I was thinking about that, and I found a solution.”

“Really?”

Bitty nodded. “You probably know how in cryosleep, your brain is temporarily disconnected, to oversimplify, from your body, which is kept in cryogenic stasis. There’s a way, using a variation of the technology that ‘disconnects’ your brain, to save it, digitally. It requires a ridiculous amount of digital storage, but that kind of space exists on the ship's mainframe.”

“And what would happen if someone did that? Saved their mind digitally?” Jack asked cautiously.

“It would create a digital copy of your consciousness. The same memories, the same identity, just a different package,” Bitty said. “We could do that, upload your mind to the ship’s mainframe, and create a digital version of you to help guide the crew. With the ship’s tech, we could probably even make a hologram that looks like you, so it’s not just a disembodied voice.”

Jack blinked and considered what Bitty was saying. “I… wow,” he finally said.

“You don’t have to decide anything right now,” Bitty added. “I know it’s a lot to take in.”

“Yeah, I… Thank you. For looking out for me.”

“Of course.” Bitty grinned. “How about you repay me by letting me pick the daily movie?”

“But you picked yesterday,” Jack protested, though his smile betrayed his intentions.

“I’ll pick something you’ll like too,” the android said.

Jack shook his head. “You’ve used that line too many times for me to trust you.”

They both laughed and finished breakfast in comfortable quiet.

A few days later, Jack and Bitty were trying to wrangle a particularly complex cake recipe, when Jack said, “You know, I’ve been thinking. About what you said about the whole uploading my consciousness thing.”

“What about it?” Bitty asked.

“I think…” Jack paused. “I think that’s what I want to do.”

“That’s great, Jack.”

“I do want to be there for the crew, and even if I’m not really there, it’s better than nothing,” he said. “But I don’t want to do this now. For one, I don’t want a duplicate of me out there, that would just be… weird.” He added, “But more importantly, I want that version of me to have all my memories. I still have a lot of time left, and I want to make sure my double has all those happy memories, especially the ones I share with you. Because it’s those kinds of memories that make me who I am.”

“That’s a really touching sentiment, Jack,” Bitty said, smiling. “And know that I feel the same way. I wouldn’t be who I am without you.”

 _I wouldn’t be who I am without you._ The phrase echoed in Jack’s head. Eric said the same thing, once. Jack did, too. The memories made him smile. “Well, we’ve gotta make the most of all this time, eh?”

“Exactly,” Bitty replied. “Take three on the cake?”

Jack grinned. “Let’s do it.”

* * *

Cryosleep isn’t like normal sleep. You don’t feel the passage of time. You don’t dream. You lay down in the pod and fall into darkness on one end, then you arise from darkness on the other, with nothing in between. But when the crew of the _Samwell_ awoke from cryosleep, they thought they were dreaming.

Two reassuring voices greeted the crew, reminding them to try not to move. As everyone slowly came to, they opened their eyes, blinked, sat up, took in the faces of their crewmates, their friends, their new family. They were all smiling wide. 

As they began to move from the cryo room to the rest of the ship, they met the sources of the voices. “Hi, everyone,” said the hologram of a man with dark hair and blue eyes. 

“How are you all doing?” asked the blonde android.

The crew all noticed how they were both smiling warmly. 

One of the crewmembers noticed how familiar the hologram man looked. “Captain Zimmermann?” she asked.

The hologram nodded. “Yeah, that’s me.” Captain Jack Zimmermann added, “Long story. I can tell you all about it after we land.”

“Speaking of,” the android interrupted. “All personnel needed for landing, take your stations. If you’re headed to the bridge, follow me.” They introduced, “I’m Bitty, by the way.”

The crew followed Bitty to the bridge and met Jack. Out of the large windows of the _Samwell_ was a blue, white, and green marble. The planet Plymouth.

Home.


End file.
